Oxymoron
June to July, a period for new student enrollment in Indonesia. Who tf thought it is a good idea to start school in the middle of year because as someone who works at school (I don't like to have my identity be associated with day job stuff), I have weird sense of time. "New year" could mean January 1st or the beginning of new class batch.
So, despite students go on vacation, usually the teachers are still working in shift to accept enrollment. In my day job, since we have kindergarten and elementary school, there's one teacher for each unit. Usually, the coworkers only like to hangout within their own unit, but in this setting—not to mention, we don't have any task, we can only sit around—people have no choice but to chat and interact. I am usually the silent third person, listener, in the room. I would say the gossips about fellow teammates are fascinating.
One thing I notice is how someone can be very fond of one particular person, yet able to trashtalk them. Usually we assume, more lashing out behind their back = more hatred or contempt. World doesn't operate black or white like that, conflicting emotions can exist simultaneously like oxymoron. I haven't figured out why exactly or how the phenomenon could occur. Acknowledging a person's altruistic traits but also their flaws?
Not to mention, recently, I feel certain degree of resentment or discomfort towards online fellas.. but my brain completely shut it up. Forget things happened, despite I need to confront the very thing I avoid. I wrote, "Avoidance means repressed anger". Which one is worse? Caring so much to the point of scrutinizing everything, or "apathy is the opposite of love"?
Bonus post:
Me and my friend went to local event. An article accused government personnel used the money for corruption, such claim is funny for no reason. My friend said the event started at 1 pm, but when we arrived, no one performed at the stage. Only food stalls were open, so we walked around for an hour. We ended up buying food at established minimarket instead of small business lmao—most of them sold snacks. Cannot beat the "Asian can't live without rice" allegation.
Since people were busy setting up, arranging fake plant around printed low-resolution wood texture walk path (my friend pointed out "why not just use real wood"), we didn't even know if we're allowed to stand there. A group of middle-aged women were as confused as us, but they confidently sat on front row of empty chairs, hence we followed. Oh, to be VIP and felt our ear got blasted with speaker. It's great.